First off, I would just like to apologize for my absence picking games of late. For the thousands upon thousands of you relying on us for crucial gambling advice... blame it on my final exam schedule. Now that Accounting and a few of my other nemeses are out of the way, I was able to trade LIFO, FIFO and GAAP in for another acronym (the NBA) and pick games again today.
During my absence, we hit a freefall and slid back to the .500 mark before saving face with two wins yesterday. It's difficult to come to the realization that we aren't much better at this than your average coin. Every day George Washington's face on the quarter gets a little more smug. Let's pick it up before he starts a competing handicapping site, "E Pick-ibus Unum". In Cover We Trust.
Some highlights from my phone conversation with Boof:
Boof: "Eleven games to pick tonight."
Boof (only minutes later): "Let's go 12-0"
In his defense, he sounded under the weather.
But here was the real winner...
He had the audacity to give me some lip about how I might forget which teams we took before I posted the selections later in the day. Except that when I took a look at the schedule on NBA.com, it turned out that two of the games he read aloud over the phone were completely different from what the NBA listed. (For those of you holding your breath, the NBA was in the right.) Memphis is not playing Atlanta today and the Clippers are not in Detroit. The discrepancy did not change either of our picks. We're one of a kind.
PHILADELPHIA (-6.5) over Sacramento
The Kings don't impress us very much, (especially without Kevin Martin).
INDIANA (- 2.5) over Toronto
Boof is in the middle of some sort of Jim O'Brien love-fest. Toronto isn't very good and just lost their point guard for awhile.
BOSTON (-13.5) over Milwaukee
Boof really likes taking the Celtics. I'm in the spirit of giving. Happy Holidays.
Orlando (-4.5) over CHARLOTTE
Dwight Howard looks like one of the early favorites in the MVP race. (Side note: It seems like the only times Charlotte can get televised nationally is when they're playing Orlando. Network executives like the 2004 Draft storyline.)
Seattle over MINNESOTA (-3.5)
Kevin Durant and Jeff Green really came to play at Madison Square Garden. The versatile "shooting guard" is starting to impress me.
Cleveland (-0.5) over NEW JERSEY
Before missing time with an injury, LeBron James was threatening to average over 30 points and 8 assists per game this season. The only others to do so were Oscar Robertson and some guy from UNC named Jordan. I guess that's an O.K. list.
DETROIT(-10.5) over Atlanta
We'll take them over the Clippers too if you're wondering. (Plus Al Horford has to miss this game. That foul didn't merit a suspension. Different story for a different time.)
MEMPHIS (-5.5) over LA Clippers
The Clippers won't be prepared for this game. After all, they must have thought they had to play Detroit.
CHICAGO (-7.5) over New York
In my dreams, I see Jerry Colangelo and Jeff VanGundy saving the Knicks. We're so close.
New Orleans over DALLAS (-9.5)
Seems like a strange line to me too. Far too high.
Utah (-5.5) over PORTLAND
The best thing for the long term benefit of the Trailblazers is to tank this season for another high lottery pick, then either package their soon-to-be-expiring contracts with young players for veteran help or scour the free agent market in 2009. But never forget that they like to make me angry (see the last five games). Utah can't get outplayed again, right??
GOLDEN STATE (-3.5) over LA Lakers
The Lakers struggled against a depleted Spurs roster. They won't fare well against Golden State.
And as long as we're just fabricating games today, here are some more expert picks we felt confident in...
HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS (-0.5) over Washington Generals
ROADRUNNER (-0.5) over WILE E. COYOTE
I also suggest a three team parlay with Death, Taxes, and Sunrise Tomorrow Morning.
Now that I'm done being a jerk about a few dopey mistakes... see you all tomorrow.
Last Night: 2-0
Season: 164-162
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